75 Years of Marriage For This Couple

In this month of June, and weddings, here is a happy story for you of a man and his wife, who have been married for _75 years_ ; sort of a rarity in the world as we know it today. June 13 marks their 75th wedding anniversary. You might like to send them a card. Marriages like this used to be more common; for example, my Aunt Myrtle and her husband Clarence Lowrance were together over 70 years. He passed away about a year ago; she died a few months later. For the final twenty-some years, he was in a nursing home, mostly incapacitated, but Aunt Myrtle went to the nursing home every single day to visit Clarence, that is how fond they were of each other. but today's story tells of another couple; he is 100, she is 98. Its a beautiful story, in my opinion. PAT

True love story has endured for 75 years

By Lolly Bowean
Tribune staff reporter

As he gently caressed his wife's left hand, tears welled up in Chester Licking's eyes.

He swallowed back his emotion as he wrapped his hand around her small wrist and softly stroked her arm. Mildred Licking reached over and patted his hand with her free one, leaned in, and their eyes connected.

"She's lost so much weight," he whispered, noting that she's about 20 pounds lighter and much more delicate than she used to be. Because of Alzheimer's, she doesn't remember as much as he does.

"It's not easy seeing her in this condition," he said.

Still, with him at 100 years old and her at 98, caring for each other is a job they've been doing nearly all their lives. The couple will celebrate 75 years of marriage on Tuesday.

"We've had a wonderful life together," she said.

"I never met or knew anyone that had been married this long," he said. "All you've got to do is live this long."

Though there are no statistics to support it, the diamond anniversary is becoming somewhat more common, experts say. That's mainly because people are living longer, said Linda Rubinowitz, a clinical psychologist and marital and family therapist at Northwestern University's Family Institute.

"These couples come from a period of time--divorce then wasn't so much understood as a viable option," she said.

Many couples who celebrate 75 years of marriage wed as teens. Mildred and Chester Licking are a bit unusual because they were in their 20s.

They met as children attending Sunday school in Milwaukee. He was 6 and she was 4, Chester said. It wasn't until they were in high school that they formally got together.

"I'd see her, but we were not dating," he said. "We fell in love that last year of high school. Then in college, that love just increased."

After high school, they both entered the University of Wisconsin. "We had a good time," he said. "We really got to know each other."

He liked her gentle demeanor and her interest in reading and writing. But most of all he liked looking at her, he said.

By the time they graduated in 1929, they were engaged. On June 13, 1931, they married in Genesee, Wis., and then moved to Chicago where he worked as a chemical engineer for Dutch Boy Paints.

"It certainly wasn't an unlucky day for us, being on the 13th," Mildred Licking said. "We've had a wonderful life."

The couple raised two children in Chicago, then moved to south suburban University Park in 1971 after he retired.

In 1978, Chester Licking went to work as deputy assessor for Monee Township. He still works in that job three days a week, he said. And he still drives, he proudly points out.

Through the years, getting along has been easy for them because they've always had a lot in common, Mildred Licking said.

"In all our years together I don't think we had one argument or quarrel," she said.
He could remember one -- over tuna salad.

"Tuna fish salad was cheap; it was all we could afford," he said. "Mildred got pretty good at making it. But one of us got tired of it."

For Chester, loving Mildred was easy. "She had a nice hand to hold in 1931," he said. "It's a nice hand to hold now too."

The best part of their marriage is the affection they share, he said. Even now, they still touch, hug and cuddle like they've just met.

"I can hold her tight when I want to," he said, laughing. "People in our time didn't do a lot of hugging back then. All my hugging went to one lady. I took advantage."

But time and age changed a lot in their lives, Chester said. Once an avid quiltmaker and homemaker, Mildred used to handle all the household affairs. She can no longer cook by herself, and he helps with much of the housework. She used to wash the dishes and he dried; now he washes while she sits nearby in a chair to help him.

"It's a chore we can still do together," he said. "Now I do the dishes, and Mildred checks if it's clean."

When caring for his darling, Chester is careful to pay attention to all the details, the couple's daughter, Helen Norton, said. Every week he drives Mildred to a salon to have her silky gray hair curled and set. He's diligent about making sure her favorite dresses, shirts and pants are clean and ready for her to wear.

"Mother always wants to look her best," Norton said. "She wants to have her hair done and her makeup and pretty clothes and jewelry. She has trouble with buttons now, so she picks out the clothes and he helps her put them on."

He organizes his wife's jewelry for her, Norton said. He even installed extra mirrors in the bathroom to make it easier for her to style her hair.

"He does little things that really help her," Norton said. "From the time I was little it was obvious they were in love. It's wonderful to see them together, I'm really proud of both of them."

As they sat across from each other, touching and holding hands, Chester Licking prodded at his wife's memory, asking if she remembered who was in her wedding party.

"That was a long time ago," she told him.

Then he asked her how many grandchildren they have.

"It's been a long time since I counted," she said.

He reminded her they have eight grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren. And her sister was her maid of honor.

Yet, through the years their love for each other has only grown, Chester said. And their bond has grown stronger.

"We've always been glad to go to bed together at night," he said. "And to wake up together."

lbowean@tribune.com